Thoughts on the Family
Several months ago I wrote an embarrassingly immature tirade in here about not me loving my parents. While I was definitely not in my best mind when I wrote that, and while I do indeed love them, my relationship with them is definitely not what I'd like it to be. But the sad thing is that it's impossible for me to be comfortable around them as they are.
Over the past few years, I have learned an incredible amount about myself, and I'm continually discovering new things all the time. Though I am in my 20s, I feel as though I have not completed growing up. Of course, I am completely mature physically, and I have matured much as a responsible, self-sufficient person (though not completely self-sufficient yet, unfortunately). But I have not completely matured mentally. I do not mean that I am mentally immature; I simply mean that there is still a lot about myself that I do not know and have not yet had the chance to learn. I'm still formulating my interests and formulating my own identity.
The most important thing that I have learned about myself over the past year or so is that I need sufficient mental stimulation at all time in order to feel satisfied. It was not always like this; only fairly recently have I developed a thirst for knowledge and learning. Recent events have led me to discovering this path, and I feel as though I must climb this mountain (to steal Robert Pirsig's example) of knowledge and creativity. Above all, in order to live the Best Life for the Fulfillment of Me, I feel as though I must actively participate in life; namely creating and learning. Ergo, my Imagination is the aspect of myself that I most highly cherish. I must defend my Imagination at all costs against the forces that would deprive me of it. What are these forces? Those factors that produce mental lethargy, of course.
Enter my parents. They are good people, really. They want the best for me, and they have given me everything that they have. Words, I deem, cannot express the gratitude that I feel for them.
But despite this, there is an emotional gap between us. I don't know if they can sense it, but it has been prevalent to me for the past three or four years or so.
My parents are, as my dad recently said, "simple people." Simple people are, as I believe my dad meant it, people who live the everyday, perfunctory life of the average Citizen without question. A "simple person" knows that life is not fair, but there is nothing that he or she can do about it; after all, what power does one person have? None. Depressed by their perceived helplessness in the face of an oppressive world, a "simple person" gives up true thought because thought might, you know, lead to more depression. If one gives up thought, what exactly goes on mentally when such a simple person has free time?
Entertainment, of course, is the answer. Why worry about world hunger when David Letterman is on? You want me to read Plato's The Last Day of Socrates? Forget that! Football (American) is on this weekend and I wouldn't be seen as a man by the guys at work if I didn't keep up with the scores.
"Simple People" are, in my view, people who might have otherwise been "complex people" and certainly have the intelligence to think deeply, but they have given up real thought (a path of high resistance due to difficulty, but it's rewarding mentally and spiritually) in exchange for fleeting momentary pleasures and entertainments (the path of least resistance).
Simple People remain simple because they have given their mental faculties away - not because they have never had them. (I know that I'm repeating myself...it's late!) Entertainment helps to distract them from their real spiritual crisis...a crisis of non-participation in life.
Simple People, according to my argument (which is certainly flawed because I don't know too much about logic, but Pirsig killed logic anyways, hahaha), are people who drift in life and do not act on their own behalf. This is why they don't seem to develop long-lasting interests, and it's also why simple people have more complex, college-educated people as bosses in the work place. Yes, I do realize that last statement was a huge generalization, and I know that there are many exceptions. Am I saying that complex people are better? NO! Perhaps it's only due to circumstance and environmental factors that certain people become complex and others remain simple.
I am merely basing this line of "reasoning" off of observation of my father, who has held the same job as a printing press operator for about 30 years or so. He does not have much opportunity for advancement in that field, of course. However, instead of developing interests in other areas that may lead to more economically stimulating and mentally engaging jobs (from his perspective, of course), he wastes untold hours each day on the Tube. Life is a depressing bore to him...having to work on the printing press all the time, for over 30 years, and he exudes this attitude that it will never get better for him. TV is his drug that helps to whisk him off into a fantasy land and forget that he never followed his passions.
It depresses me to know that he has held this job for so long in large part to support ME. The ME who is now deciding to live life to my fullest potential while his life is essentially over. Again, I'm thankful, but I also have to acknowledge that HE IS THE CREATOR OF HIS MISERY. He's intelligent...if he actively pursued interests instead of living through sports teams all the time I'm sure he would not hold the "life sucks" attitude that he does.
Yes...sports teams! At the risk of sounding arrogant (I suppose that I passed that point long ago in this post), I must exclaim...no, SHOUT AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS THAT I HATE SPORTS TEAMS!!!!! What's my reason? As I just mentioned, I have noticed that so many people live vicariously through sports. I used to do so, also. My family went to a lot of baseball games when I was a kid, and my parents pretty well indoctrinated me into being a baseball fan. And I was legitimately a fan for many years. I remember at one point when "my" team lost in the playoffs -- I cried! CRIED! Oh how life was so horrible for me! I CRIED OVER A SILLY BASEBALL TEAM LOSS WHILE PEOPLE ARE STARVING IN
Yet, because I still live at home, I NEVER want to tell my parents, and especially my dad, that I now hate sports. I pretend to like them. I just think that it would hurt my parents if they knew that. As much as I disprove of vicarious living, sports, and especially baseball, is a large part, or even the biggest part of my dad's existence. If it makes him happy, then good for him, I suppose. I'm sure that he wants to share that part of him with his only son and only child. I understand that. BUT I REALLY HATE SPORTS! So pretend I must....
As if this post isn't full of tangents, I will not divert into another one. I have discussed how sports is a vicarious plague upon Society (in my opinion, of course...why must I be so defensive??? :P ), so I must acknowledge my own hypocrisy. It's fun to point out my own faults and follibles! Well, I like reading books and literature. I like to read fiction (along with non-fiction). Fiction is comprised of made-up stories that have never happened. I love many of these made-up stories. Many of these stories contain experiences that I have never experienced for myself. It is through reading these books that I even have a clue what certain experiences would be like. Isn't this living vicariously through others (authors)? You bet it is.
But what's the difference between books and sports?
Well, ignoring the fact that I'm utilizing a basic human "logical" defense mechanism for the justification of my actions while at the same time condemning the actions of others, I believe that books give "virtual" experiences that are the next best thing to "actual" experiences. These virtual experiences often provide food for thought, and this mental sustenance may inspire anything from meditative reflection to creative inspiration. Books have the power to change the world. Such a book that changed the world is Common Sense by Thomas Paine. This little book, or pamphlet, helped to induce the American Revolution. Is a novel such as 1984 that warns us about where we are possibly headed as a world society to be ignored as "vicarious fantasy?" Maybe, but not in my opinion. My point, at last, is that everybody can benefit from a book...author, publisher, and reader, but who benefits from sports? I think only the owners and players benefit (I do know that stadiums provide jobs such as front office personnel and venders, but on a cultural level, I do not believe that sports contributes much other than robbing people of time that they might have better spent. Again, I say that as a person who has wasted much time watching sports, and I only write this because I feel as though I have wasted time on it).
So I have written a bit about my father, myself, and my hatred of sports. I'm tired, so I'll have to continue this post in another installment. Further hatred of sports will ensue (I'm such a FREAKIN' RANTER!), and I'm sorry if I offended any sports fans.
All of this was written by one little person...perhaps a simple person...and his opinion is often suspect.
You can be so harsh, sometimes. I guess TV is the 'opiate of the people', but everyone has their drug of choice. Some do books.
Posted by
anonymous jones |
7:10 PM