Chauntecleer of the Pricking Cock

It's now 12:30 a.m., and I need to get up at 5, so I'll try and keep this short!

The past year has been largely a waste for me. I graduated with a degree in Music in 2005, but I have done very little since then. My parents just wanted me to get a job - any job! In truth, I had a minor job teaching saxophone lessons to middle and high school students, and it does pay very well per hour; the problem was that I just didn't have a lot of students! After I graduated, I went through a long period of not knowing what to do with my life. I had known for several years that I really didn't want to go into music as a full time career, but everyone in my family stressed the importance of simply finishing my degree. (The story of why I chose to study music and my subsequent disinterest in it shall be told on another day!) "Finish your degree, and you can do lots of jobs! It doesn't matter which degree you get!" they told me. While that may be technically true, the fact was that I had no clue of what to do with myself. And it scared me to death.

Despite my general confusion of what to make with my life, I was hesitant to start on my job search. Soon after my graduation, I began to look at job postings and the like, but they all seemed so uninteresting! The typical job that is advertised in job postings, you see, is often a "practical" job. In other words, the only reason to take such a job would be to simply make money to make ends meet; this job does not foster creativity nor inspire the imagination. This type of job is often located in an office of sorts, and it would involve some sort of stifling (to me) routine, be it completing forms and paper work on a daily basis or entering numbers onto a spreadsheet. I am by no means a practical person; I am someone who adores imaginative life and who adores ideas and theories. In other words, I am abstract; I do not cope well with practical routine. I kid you not, but every time I worked on my job search, I felt nauseated! I could only envision a corporate world of cubicles and water coolers, and it terrified me! How could I seriously apply for these jobs and get hired if it was obvious (and trust me, it would be obvious to the interviewers) that I really, really, REALLY did not want to be there?

So the year after graduation wore on. I kept on doing my saxophone gig largely out of contentment, and I began to slide into a depression because of my sliding sense of self-worth. Everyone in my family - my grandparents, my aunt and uncle, and my parents - made it clear to me that I was being useless. With every passing day my depression became deeper, and it was only made worse by my confusion and anxiety of what to do with my life. A college graduate, I told myself, has no business living at home off of his parents. To make matters worse, my confidence took a large blow when the Carolina fiasco happened in January (I wrote about that earlier), and I began to feel VERY lonely. I have few friends in general, and I don't get to see them too often, either. I am an only child, so I have no siblings to confide in when my parents drive me crazy. I have grown up extremely self-conscious and with low self-esteem due to being very fat as a kid. Throughout my entire life, I have had enormous troubles simply relating to people. I have grown up isolated, and I am still somewhat isolated still.

But then something wonderful happened! I don't have time to write in-depth about this now, and I'm not exactly sure how it happened anyways. Perhaps I shall analyze the "why" of this sometime soon. What is this wonderful thing?

I FINALLY DISCOVERED WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE!

What is it that I want to do? I've written about this before, but I want to study English and get into creative writing. I have always loved books and learning, but I only recently discovered just how much meaning words have to me. Again, now is not the time for me to chronicle how I discovered this, but I will surely do that soon! I only wish to state what I am now doing with my life. The year of inaction is OVER.

Now begins THE YEAR OF FURY!

I hate traditional, practical jobs. Hate them. Hate them with a purplely passion. Therefore, I have simply expanded on something that I like doing....teaching saxophone lessons! I am now teaching at four schools, and I should have around 50 students. It's a job that allows me a great degree of creativity, and I am good at it. I enjoy interacting with the kids, and music is something that can bring great fulfillment to a person. I will be very busy doing this.


Furthermore, I say "SCREW YOU, SOCIETY, I'M GOING TO LIVE AT HOME AND SAVE MONEY!" I realize that I need to become more self-sufficient, and I am becoming such, but there is a great societal stigma attached to people over the age of 20 who live with their parents, and especially males. I simply don't care about such stigma anymore. Now I am busy with my job, so it's not like I'm sitting in the basement playing Everquest all day. And while I am making pretty good money teaching now, I am certainly not rich, and I do have one great expense. What is that expense?


I'M GOING BACK TO COLLEGE, AND I'M PAYING FOR IT MYSELF! As I stated, I have always loved English. It was my favorite subject in high school, and I have always wondered, "what if I had gone into English....what if?" I had always regretted that I loved the subject so much, and yet was not trained in it. But that miraculous something happened not too long ago. The idea came into my mind that I only have one life to live, and despite the difficulties, despite the fact that I have never studied English before, I HAVE to go back to school and study it precisely because I love it. I must follow my dreams. If I don't, then I might as well die right now.


So now I'm going back to school and taking two English courses in addition to my teaching gig. What is my goal with taking these courses? Well, I desire to attend graduate school in English in the hopes, I kid you not, of becoming an English professor. Specifically, I want to concentrate in creative writing and teach writing courses at the university level, but I also want to do a bit of literary criticism. So I want to both study literature and write it. I will admit that I know next to nothing about this subject right now, but that is exactly why I'm studying it now...to learn and develop skills that will enable me to master this craft! English and writing has great imaginative appeal to me; the study of this subject will develop my mind and allow me to open up my inner creative universe! It's a dream, and I might not accomplish it, but I'm going to give it everything that I have, damn it!

So now my life is looking up precisely because I have now found my purpose...my mission. More on this later!

This is the letter that I just now wrote to the school newspaper. It is on a very touchy subject: 9/11. By writing and posting this letter, I am declaring my stance to the world, and I shall be seen by many, and probably even most, as totally insane. But that is ok. This letter likely has many typing errors because I haven't proofread it yet, and I was dead tire when I wrote it. I am sorry about the length, but as we all know, I'M A RANTING RAMBLER! Here it is:

Dear The Daily Cougar,

As the subject to this email suggests, I am interested in writing a series of letters to The Cougar that is centered on an extremely sensitive issue, but it is an issue that I regard of the utmost importance. I am speaking about, of course, the 9/11 issue.

This email is only an inquiry by its nature; it is not to be considered for print. I am certain that the subject of 9/11 has been written about ad nauseam in the newspaper, but I believe that I can provide a different view that, in my opinion, needs to be listened to at the very least. I am an alumnus of UH who graduated in May of 2005, and I admit that I am somewhat out-of-the-loop in regards to the stories that you have printed over the past year, so it may be possible that my point-of-view has already been presented.

My view of what happened on September 11th is definitely not in accordance with the mainstream account that was given to us by our corporately-controlled media. Those who believe similarly to me on this issue are typically ostracized as "tin-foil hat nut jobs" or simply "conspiracy theorists." My view, if expressed in the newspaper, would certainly cause consternation amongst those who are not prepared to hear it. What is my view? To summarize it down to its barest essentials, I believe, based upon what I have researched, that the 9/11 terror attacks were not planned by Osama bin Laden, as the American media has so unilaterally pounded into out heads. I believe, as the journalist Webster Griffen Tarpley writes in his book 9/11 Synthetic Terror: Made in the USA, that the real perpetrators of the attacks were (and are) a small "rouge network" of USA-based terrorists that are comprised of very wealthy and powerful members of business, government, and the military. I believe that this relatively small consortium of elites planned and carried out the horrible events of 9/11 in order to start an unending war in the Middle-East AND to deprive U.S. citizens of their rights (need I say Patriot Acts I and II?).

I am also proposing that this elite, invisible "shadow government" has nearly complete control of what we see reported in the media in much the same fashion that The Party of Orwell's novel 1984 has control over theirs. Our media, and especially the TV media, is an extraordinarily prevalent force in our modern life; indeed, many people become addicted to television and cannot function without it. Unfortunately, there is a great percentage of Americans who do not do their own research, and such citizens are at the mercy of what the "authorities" decide to tell them. The "authorities," in this case the corporate owners of the media establishment, cannot be completely trusted to report the truth 100 percent of the time because they have an agenda to uphold; that agenda is money. The money and power connection between wealthy individuals/corporations and government has been strongly documented, and if media moguls see that they can make a lot of money by broadcasting news that is aimed to keep Americans in a constant state of fear, they will work with the Official Party Line to make that happen. How is the average American, who views around 4 hours of television a day and displays little curiosity into putting in the effort to research news events, to defend oneself against the onslaught of televised political pundits and develop an opinion of one's own?

I wish to present my case of 9/11 in a series of letters in The Daily Cougar. One letter is not enough space for me to present my argument. The first few letters would actually have nothing explicitly related to 9/11; I wish to focus first on our media's all-encompassing presence in our lives and how it influences our values. Above all, the media is an industry, and an industry's primary goal is to make a profit. When we grew up, we nearly all desired to become attractive and successful adults. But what is attractive? And what is success? Those two terms are qualitative in nature and up for debate, but I believe that we all have a good idea of what the mainstream consensus of those two terms are. The ideal of feminine beauty in our society is to be cardboard-thin, dress revealingly, and wear oodles of make-up. The ideal of masculine beauty is to be tanned and muscle-bound. The mainstream ideal of success is to get rich, own three or four Lexuses and have two vacation houses in Aspen. If the terms attractiveness and success are subjective, then how can we know the mainstream consensus of what those two terms mean? It is because the media suggests these ideals and values to us through (including but certainly not limited to) mediums such as fashion/beauty magazines and action-hero movies. As kids, we are bombarded with these suggestions from birth, and a lifetime subjected to such advertising and subliminal messages tends to leave its effect on the American Psyche. I wish to argue that long term exposure and dependence on the media (especially television) leads to a condition known as mind-control.

After I discuss the media for a letter or two (and keep in mind that I am no media scholar; I am just someone who has become interested in this subject and has done minor research in it and has thenceforward formulated my own opinions on it) I would wish to focus the next letters on 9/11 itself. I believe that I would not even state my official view in the first letter actually pertaining to the specific subject of 9/11 but rather simply state facts and contradictions of that day.

Some include:

- The Twin Towers of the World Trade Center were the first steel-framed buildings to collapse from fire in history. Never before or sense has it happened, and there have been fires much more intense in skyscrapers than the ones on 9/11, and yet those buildings did not collapse.

- The ~10 second free fall collapses of both towers are physically impossible if one accepts the government-sponsored "pancake theory." I am no physicist, and in an actual letter submitted with the intention of print, I would certainly quote some specific experts on this matter, but as I understand it, the pancake theory holds that the top floors structurally weakened and fell onto the floors underneath them. The bottom floors could not withstand the pressure, and thus they gave out, as the government reports. Yet the towers fell at near free-fall speed, AND they fell STRAIGHT DOWN. If the pancake theory were true, wouldn't floors falling unto stronger bottom floors cause RESISTANCE and therefore DELAY the collapsing time? Also, wouldn't the resistance in such an event cause the collapsing floors to change direction instead of falling straight down?

- Steel melts at above 1,500 degrees C. Many scientists report that it is impossible for the fires of the world trade center to bun that hot in our real-life earth conditions. It would take a vacuum to enable a fire to get that hot on earth.

- Comparisons of the World Trade Center collapse and routine building demolitions show remarkable similarities. Also, the acceptance of pre-planted explosives is the most logical explanation for how the Twin Towers fell.

- Numerous eyewitness accounts tell of hearing and seeing explosives inside the Twin Towers.

- Larry Silverstein, the then owner of the World Trade Center complex, admitted in a program on PBS that he made the decision to demolish World Trade Center 7. This contradicts the Official Story that holds that the building collapsed through fire-alone. Additionally, this building was never even hit by an aircraft, and it was farther from the Twin Towers than many other buildings that still stand today. Plus the collapse of this building is not mentioned at all in the 9/11 Commission Report.


- There was a spike of insider trading of put options on American Airlines and United Airlines stock in the days before 9/11. This suggests that important people in America knew that the attacks were going to happen beforehand.

- It wasn't until 2004 that the technology to enabled cell phone calls on airplanes was unveiled by Qualcomm. This contradicts the Official Story's heroic cell phone calls made by the passengers of the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania.

http://www.usatoday.com/money/biztravel/2004-07-19-aircells_x.htm


I am sorry that I am not providing all of my sources for my claims, but if I were assured that it were possible to print letters of these claims in The Daily Cougar, I would definitely take the time to gather all of my sources and present them so that all readers can have access to research this matter for themselves. As you can see, I would base my arguments on facts that seem to contradict the Official Story put out by our government and our media, and that is all that I really aim to do. As I stated before, I believe that a secret but powerful rouge network inside our government carried out these attacks for their own pernicious gains, and furthermore, I believe that the airplanes that were flown into buildings on that day were decoys that were used to provide us with an enemy to go to war with. Osama bin Laden functions in much the same way, or rather, seems to me, that Hilary Goldstein functioned as terrorist-boogeyman in Orwell's 1984. If we are convinced that we have something legitimate to fear, we will ask the government, no, beg the government to do whatever it takes to protect us. Unfortunately, the price of this "protection" seems to come at the cost of the very civil liberties that made this a great country in the first place. I think that our Founding Fathers would be turning over in their graves if they could see America now.

The very last letter that I hope to write for the newspaper, if my proposal is to see the light of day, would be covering the ramifications of what it would mean if all of my assertions were true. What if 9/11 is indeed the largest scam of world history? That would mean that all the actions that our country has taken since then...all of the political upheaval that it has caused since 2001, would be based on nothing but a lie of the most grievous kind. How would we respond as a country if the news got out AND the masses began to wake up and realize that they have been duped? How would we recover from this? How would we even BEGIN to make up for all of the mistakes made in the Bush era? The shame would be something on the order of the shame the Germans felt after the fall of Nazi Germany. Maybe it would not be on quite the same scale, but it would be horrific nonetheless.

I now bring my inquiry to a close. I simply wish to ascertain whether my views would find a place to be expressed in The Daily Cougar, or if they would be seen as too radical for the paper. I know from personal experience that most would probably not believe me no matter how well I backed up my evidence, and I know that many simply do not wish to think about something like this, and that is perfectly understandable. I rather wish that I didn't have to think about this; I have plenty of other things that I wish I could expend my energy towards rather than this gloomy subject, but I feel as though I would not be doing my duty to my friends, family, fellow Americans, and the community of Earth if I did nothing. There are many people who devote their entire beings to debunking what is seen in the 9/11 Truth community as a myth of the most dastardly kind, and needless to say, I am not one of them. I have my own goals to pursue and my own life to live; I do not profess to be as knowledgeable as I could be in this field. I am simply someone who has stepped into the world of these researchers, thought about what they had to say, and believed their explanations of the tragic events as being more logical and rational explanations than what our government told us. With these letters, I simply wish to open more discussion about this subject whether it is true that there is a conspiracy or not. I cannot convince anybody; they have to judge for themselves. But hopefully I can provide some reference material that might just help somebody think independently about this for themselves.

Thank you for your consideration,
Scott [The Pimpin' Playa]

*Screams*

I'm currently reading The Tempest (1st time ever), and I'm enjoying it immensely. But I am not here to write about anything specific about the play. Rather, I'd wish to share that portions of this play make me laugh. I laughed out loud as I read them, yet, there was nobody around to hear me! It was pure laughter.

Just think about that.

Someone who has been dead for hundreds of years lived such a life that enabled countless numbers of people in the future to share in his work and his laughter with him. His life was a life well-lived, indeed!

In other news, I am A LIAR! I STILL haven't posted what I have recently promised to post. I have most of it written out already (yes, I actually intended to post it about a week ago, but as is usually the case with my rants, it was getting long and I became too sleepy to finish it, as I am now), but I need to complete it. Rest assured; it is interesting.

Maybe I'll post it tomorrow!

HERE'S A PREVIEW OF WHAT'S TO COME ON MY BOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGEEEEEEEERRRR!!!!

Oops, I mean

BLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!


*Roar*



This preview is rated [I-S] for Inane Stupidity.


Coming tomorrow......COMMENTS BY ME! COMMENTS BY ME ON OTHERS' BLOGS! MAY OSIRIS'S MIGHTY PENIS REJOICE AT THIS NEWS, AND MAY 12,000 OBELISKS BE ERECTED IN ITS HONOUR.


Also coming tomorrow:

More of my TIRESOME RANTS about how our society sucks and how it's making us dumb mental slaves blah blah blah blah blah

AND

A

REVIEW

OF

THE

MOVIE


BLOW HARDER WITH A VENDETTA LXIX


:)



sTAy tUnEd......

This is an email that I just wrote to an ex professor. I am slightly changing it so that people's names are protected. The only reason that I am posting this here is because it contains some of my core philosophy on the meaning of my life, and thus, I find it worthy of sharing.

Dr. [Frankenstein],

Hello. Scott [Evil] here. You may remember me from your Analysis class from about two years ago. Additionally, I took composition lessons from you for a semester, and I was in Dr. [Jekyll's] saxophone studio. If my description rings any memory bells, then yes, it's THAT Scott [Evil], hehe.

I am writing to you because I have a question, and I do not personally know many composers who may provide me with an answer. A most peculiar thing happened to me after I graduated from the [Clown Music] School; I began to compose music! If you recall, I showed some interest in composition during my time at the [Clown Music] School, but it was a rather preliminary interest. I loved the idea of creating something that could stir emotions through the medium of sound, but I was a bit too perplexed by the technical nature of music theory to actuate my ideas into music. I was also a bit sidetracked by other requirements at that time, and as a result, I believe that I did not enjoy the study of music theory as much as I possibly could. Music theory by nature is extremely logical and even mathematical in many ways, and unfortunately, my mind is inclined to gravitate towards more non-technical modes of thought. Because I have discovered this about myself, and because I have now had the time to discover more and more about my self-identity, my strengths, my weaknesses, and my values, I am now pursuing a degree in English; specifically, a degree in creative writing.

But despite all of these new self-discoveries, and despite the complete change of fields, I am still and will always be drawn to music. Music, to me, is the purest form of emotional expression; it needs no words to communicate. I communicate now primarily through words, but as I have found in the past year or so, there are simply times when words alone are not enough to express what one desires to communicate. It is in these occurrences when I write my music. My music, of course, lacks many degrees of technical polish because I have neglected much of the study of music theory, though I do intend to review theory in order to gain greater ability to understand just what it is that I am writing. My music is not intended to be presented upon a stage and impress audiences due to its amazing technical mastery (hahaha). My music is, simply put, only written solely for my enjoyment, and for me, that is enough. It may not be great by any reputable standard of criticism, and that is perfectly fine with me, because through the act of creating music, I am celebrating my ability to be a creative human being. The degree to which I "successful" in an act of creativity is not nearly as important to me as the fact that I am doing a creative act; creativity is a fundamental human trait. Thus, by being creative, I become more and more human: creativity is life itself in my view. But I can say this in regards to musical creativity simply and only because I am not drawing a paycheck from it!

Before this email becomes even more verbose, I simply wish to inquire about receiving some feedback from a real composer about my music. I really do not have much music: only 1 completed piano piece (performed and recorded), 1 completed short MIDI band piece, and about five or six other uncompleted pieces that exist in a variety of mediums. I am not seeking in-depth feedback on this music; if I were then I'd still be a music major! Rather, I simply wish to share my music in all of it's naivety with a professional composer and to receive general impressions about it from him or her. I reiterate that my music will never be intended for large-scale public use, but rather only for my personal enjoyment as a potential hobby and for sharing with those who are intimate with me. Yes, I do know that a thorough knowledge of theory is essential to creating enjoyable music, for the most part, but that is a course of study that I must simply teach myself due to my main obligations being elsewhere now.

Please excuse my long-winded email and philosophizing, as I assure you that it is nearing its end. It would be great if you had the time to listen to my stuff, but you are a busy man and I am no longer a student of the [Clown Music] School, so I know that might not work. If you are interested in hearing what I have, I know that your time is valuable, so I would pay you for your time; just send me an estimate! I think that 30-45 minutes would suffice, and this would be a one-time occurrence. And if by chance that you can't listen to what I have, might you have an idea of any other composers who might be interested in hearing the naive work of an amateur such as myself? Please let me know!

Sincerely,
Scott [Evil] VI

...these are the 10 books that I would want to read. I'm going to restrict these titles to books that I actually have but have not yet read because I have easy access to them. Also, I'm going to restrict these books to the English language (I can read a bit of German and have a few German books).

I just ordered Peter Kump's book Break-through Rapid Reading, and I hope that it will help me learn how to speed read. I LOVE books, but yet I read so slowly! I wish that I could read faster so I could have the time to read MORE books!

Here are the books in no particular order:

1 - Dracula - Bram Stoker
2 - Synthetic Worlds: The Business and Culture of Online Games - Edward Castronova
3- Dune - Frank Herbert
4 - His Dark Materials Trilogy - Philip Pullman (I'll count this as one book).
5 - Also Sprach Zarathustra - Friedrich Nietzsche (I've read about half of this, but did not finish).
6 - Walden - Henry David Thoreau
7 - Gulliver's Travels - Jonathon Swift
8 - 9/11 Synthetic Terror: Made in the USA - Webster Griffen Tarpley
9 - Bulfinch's Mythology - Thomas Bulfinch
10- Henry IV Part II - William Shakespeare (ok, so this is a play...not really a book.)
11 - Le Morte d' Arthur - Sir Thomas Malory (I can't keep it at just 10!)


I'll check the books on the list off as I finish them. Keep in mind that I will be reading other books in addition to these, so some of these might have to wait. I hope that I can teach myself how to speed read...that mean's reading very quickly AND comprehending it! It would open up infinite new worlds for me!

As of the night of August the 4th, 2006, the world is simply a different place. Why?

BECAUSE I FINALLY CLEANED MY ROOM!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1


GO ME GO ME GO ME GO ME GO ME!




Ok, ok, please excuse my exultation over this feat. You must understand that I simply don't remember the last time my room was clean. I've lived in the same house my entire life, and naturally, the same room. And it has always been a tragic TRAIN WRECK!


Why did I clean my room now, and not a long time ago? Well, I have always been rather lethargic, and I'm a terrible procrastinator, so when those two traits are put together, one is bound to get nothing done. Also, my parents have always been very lenient on me, and they never forced me to do chores (gasp). It sounds horrible and maybe unthinkable that that could be the case, but it is so. Well, my parents have never been fond of doing chores either, so the end result is a messy house, of course.

As a result of this, I have not developed into a self-sufficient person. I can see that now, and I do NOT want to remain this way any longer. It's time for me to start running my life, because nobody is going to do it for me. I knew that I could not function properly with a messy environment, so I had to change it. Therefore I had the will to clean it up and improve my surroundings. Now I have a FAR better place to study and to get work done (I am returning to school this fall). And because I have now accomplished a task that I have always put off, and I can now ride this momentum of energy to better my life situation.

WHEN I become a self-sufficient person (and it will be relatively soon), I will have a lot of things going for me.

In the next post I will provide more background information about myself and what I hope to do with my life, but for now, I'm going to rest!

This post really has no point to it, but I have noticed how a lot of my posts are rather lengthy. Not just on here, but on my other journals that I have had as well. This is kinda interesting to me because I am somewhat of a quiet and shy person in real life. A lot of my quietness around others is probably a result of me growing up with so many insecurities and being so self-conscious, but I think that I have just about conquered them as of right now (YAY!).

Is it a paradox of a sort to say so little in real life (in comparison to extroverts or even most people) but yet write so much? I obviously have a lot to say, so what keeps me from saying it in reality with my own voice? Is it merely because writing is more comfortable to me than speaking? I have read that people with my personality type (INFP....I forgot what all of those letters exactly mean, but something to the effect of me having an introverted, intuitive, and feeling personality rather than a logical, extroverted one) tend to become writers, so I wonder if there is any correlation there.

SHUT UP BRAIN! LET ME GO TO SLEEP INSTEAD OF ALL OF THIS INCESSENT THINKING! PERHAPS I SHALL GO KILL SOME DENDRITES WITH ALCOHOL NOW!

AND OH MY GOODNESS THE SUN IS RISING! I FREAKIN' STAYED UP ALL NIGHT! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I've been up all night (it's almost 6:30 A.M. now) because I CAN'T STOP THINKING! Some of it has to do with my anxieties of what I am doing with my life (I should make a post about that later), but a lot of it is just abstract stuff that has no point. My brain just won't shut off! I'm dead tired, but it won't stop!

MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP!

Perhaps there is a good case for TV after all.....hahaha.